The Dangers of MySpace – Recognizing the Risk
and Keeping Your Teenager Safe.
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Do You Ever Read Your Child's emails?
Being the parent of a teenager is challenging. Not quite adults, but far from children, teenagers are in the search and discovery portion of their lives. Stretching their wings to try new things, to test their environment, and to find their place in the world, they often cause their parents many moments of alarm. They can’t help it, and for the most part, they don’t do it on purpose. It is as natural as a butterfly breaking free of its cocoon. This is simply the evolution of a child growing into adulthood.
Who is Talking to Your Child Online?
One of the areas that teenagers find the most persuasive, and that parents find the scariest, is the Internet. Brimming with online communities, blogs, message boards, instant messaging, music, videos, etc. the Internet is a virtual plethora of social networking. One of the largest, and arguably the most compelling, of these social networks is a site called MySpace. To understand the dangers that exist in MySpace, it is important to also understand the site itself and why predators use it. What is MySpace?
MySpace is a social community all of its own. Within the interactive MySpace community, the users can hook up with friends, post personal profiles, blogs and pictures, and utilize the internal search engine and email system. Basically, MySpace is a self-contained internet world that encourages social interaction among its users – and they do all of this at no charge. MySpace is a completely free service. Sounds great, doesn’t it? Well, if used properly, it is. As a parent, however, there is one necessary component to keep in mind. For more detailed explanations on how to use MySpace just click here.
The characteristics that pull teenagers into MySpace are the same characteristics that pull predators to MySpace. As with anything, it is important for parents’ of teenagers to be informed on what their child is doing. In this case, it is essential to know what dangers lurk in the MySpace community. Most kids honestly believe that no one other than their friends will browse through their pictures, read their journal entries, and listen to their favorite picks of music. They don’t stop to think that anyone with internet access can find them on MySpace and read their private thoughts, view their pictures, and become informed on their likes and dislikes. Click here to see a few shocking examples of what some teens post on their MySpace Profile.
A lot of teenagers post their home addresses, their cell phone numbers, their school schedules, and detail what they’re doing on Friday night, etc. Sexual predators know this. They use MySpace as a tool to handpick their victims. With so much information available in one place, it’s far too easy for them to learn all they need to know about a minor they find interest in. With this, they can put on a façade of being a teenager from a neighboring community and begin developing trust. Once trust exists, even at the basest level, these predators usually move on to the next step – a real life meeting. This is where a teenager is at their most vulnerable.
Statistics from law enforcement authorities detail an approximate count of 5,000 attempts of internet sexual predation in 2004. One out of every seventeen minors online are threatened or harassed online, 75% of minors share personal information willingly on the internet in exchange for goods and services, one out of five U.S. teens have received sexual solicitation over the Internet, one in thirty-three have been aggressively pursued online, and 77% of youths online are contacted by sexual predators by the time they are fourteen years old. These statistics are frightening, and these instances are happening all over the United States. From small town America to big cities – because the Internet is everywhere – it doesn’t matter what the locale is. Any minor with access to a computer is at risk.
With the terrifying statistics mentioned above in mind, what can a parent to do to minimize the risk to their teenager? Begin with the basics:
1. Have a No Closed Doors Policy. Keep the computer in a common area – the living room, the study, even the kitchen – and if the room the computer is in has a door, enforce the no closed door policy. Make sure your eyes are on that screen often enough to know what your child’s online habits are, who they communicate with, and what they are doing. Also, this prevents your teenager from typing or displaying information they wouldn’t want you to see, since you could pass by at any moment. Are you as a parent comfortable in your ability to understand what your teen is communicating online? You may be surprised.
2. Open the Lines of Communication. And keep them open! Discuss with your child the very real dangers of MySpace and other Internet communities. Lay down the rules so they understand what could happen if they display personal and private information. Go for a no-holds-barred question and answer session. Be willing to tell it all – kids are smart, and if you’re honest with them, they’ll be more likely to listen and to take precautions.
3. Be a Regular Visitor to MySpace. Monitor your teenager’s MySpace profile continuously. Watch their friend’s list to be sure you know who they have on there. Take the time to visit those MySpace profiles and keep enlarging your search. Be aware, be consistent, and learn as much about MySpace as you can. Understanding how the community works will enable you to keep that much closer of an informed eye on your child’s actions.
Looking for the right strategy? Review the two step by step strategies for monitoring your teen's MySpace profile(s).
Spying on your teenager may feel wrong, as if you’re somehow stating that you don’t trust them. While teenagers have a right to some privacy, it is your job as their parent to keep them safe. You cannot do this effectively if you do not know what they are doing, who their friends are, what they are posting, what they are feeling, or who they are communicating with when you’re not around. Parenting a teenager is difficult under the best of circumstances, and parents have learned that some battles are not worth the fight. This fight – the war for your child’s safety and well-being is worth everything, and that includes spying.
Today’s world is simply not as safe as the world of yesterday. The Internet has opened the doors to numerous positive changes that have affected us all. Just don’t forget, that along with the good comes the bad – the Internet can bring the sexual predator half a country away (or two streets over) right into your home. Don’t allow this to happen. Your teenager may think they have all the answers, but they don’t – it is up to you to set the boundaries that will keep your kids safe.
Be aware what your child is doing, both out in the real world and on the Internet. Educate yourself on MySpace and other Internet communities and what the dangers are. Communicate these dangers to your teenager – be open and honest and instill the rules you want followed. Monitor their behavior, their profiles, their friends, who they’re talking to, who they’re emailing, etc.
Your child’s well-being, safety, and possibly even their life depend on your involvement. Parents are the barrier that predators face – make the barrier around your teenager and impenetrable fortress.
Someday, regardless of what they say now, your teenager will thank you.
Sources:
1. http://www.csmonitor.com/2005/0525/p11s02-lifp.html , Christian Science Monitor newsletter: May, 2005.
2. http://www.cyberangels.org/statistics.html, Cyber Angels statistics.
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